The only thing worse than working retail is being mistaken for someone working retail. (Or otherwise being asked to do things you're not even being paid to do.) If you think that never happens, get a load of these stories! These folks from all around the world went online to share their 'I don't work here' stories, and we've collected the best of the best.
Go ahead, call for a manager.
30. I don't know where I am either, lady
29. I don't work here... anymore!
28. People don't usually bring babies to work, lady
Photo by Artem Beliaikin from Pexels
27. My driveway isn't for your customers
College. A bunch of guys rent a beat up old house in town next to a daycare. Problem is the parents picking up and dropping off park in our driveway. We argue with the owner of the daycare every day. She doesn't care.
So one day I begin parking behind the parents who are parked in my driveway. This infuriates the daycare owner. We go back and forth and usually I go out and move my car so the parents can get their car out. One day, though, I've just had it. I worked most of the night, had early morning classes, and I have twenty minutes to shave, shower, and get ready for my second job this afternoon.
I get home and sure enough parents are in our driveway...again. So I park behind them and go inside. Get in the shower and when I get out the daycare owner is beating on the door loud enough to shake the wall. I go downstairs wrapped in a towel and open the door. She burst into the middle of the living room and screams at me.
While she is screaming I take the towel off and calmly dry my hair. I am buck naked. She stops screaming long enough to realize she's standing next to a naked college student, screams something about calling the cops and bolts for the door. It doesn't open. In her haste to leave she's locked the door instead of unlocking it. Now she's stuck with a naked man. I tell her I have to have the key (true) to unlock the door and the key is upstairs on my dresser. I leave her looking like she's about to have a heart attack.
When I come back to the living room she's white as a ghost. I unlock the door and say, "It sucks to be stuck and not able to leave, right?"
Fast forward about 20 minutes and when I'm leaving a cop is parked in front of the house. I chat with them through the car window. I explain the situation and they chuckle. "Did you invite her in?" No, I tell them, she barged into my house. "Well it's not a crime to be naked in your own house. Her problem for violating your privacy."
I'd love to say this rectified the situation, but it didn't. We never found a way to stop parents from parking in our driveway.
Pixabay
26. I don't work here, but you can pay me if you want
25. Accidentally dressed as a waiter
24. "I could care less about your kid"
23. Imagine getting arrested over a sweater you don't want
22. Never touch the staff... especially if they're not staff
21. Yeah, we broke into this house to do some gardening
We moved into a new house a few years ago. Two days after we get settled in, it’s a gorgeous day so I’m out tending the garden.
About 30 minutes after I start, this woman walks beside the house. She compliments my garden and asks how much my services cost. So I told her "ma’am I don’t do services." About this time my husband walks out and puts something into the car.
This woman decides to call the police and tell them we are robbing the place. I don’t know if her watching my husband caused that thinking, as he was pulling stuff out of the house and into the vehicle or what. We were new neighbors, moved in like a few days prior so you’d think she would have seen us moving.
Three cops show up a few minutes after she left. We didn’t know she called the cops. They pull up while both of us are wondering what the world is going on. Maybe someone we knew died or our kid got arrested. Neither. They said we were called in as an active burglary. We had to prove the house was ours. She didn’t even talk to us about it or mention robbery. Although I guess in the moment she just lost it. People are crazy here.
20. I didn't show up to work because I refused to take the job
19. I don't work here; also, you're going to jail
18. Humiliated and forced to apologize
17. Worth it to get some free lunch
16. Technically an 'I do work here' story
15. Imagine trying to get someone fired on their lunch break
14. Physically assaulted by a customer
13. You don't understand what a flight attendant is
Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash
12. You laid me off and now you want me to keep working?
Photo by Kaboompics .com from Pexels
11. Screw you for helping me
10. You don't even have the right company
9. I might be going to Facebook jail!
8. Adults only candy store
7. A veteran of the 'war on Christmas'
6. She abuses him in a store and then wants a job!
5. "Would I be naked if I worked here?"
4. It's called the Second Amendment, lady
3. A nasty encounter with a surprisingly sweet ending
2. Fired from a job I never had
1. Assistant to the Regional Manager
0. Show the I.D.
I was buying groceries when a Karen stomped up to me and shoved her shopping list in my face. “I can’t find anything! This place is a dump!” I told her I didn’t work there and walked away. She followed and kept shouting. “This is the worst service I ever had! Get back here and help me! My husband is an IMPORTANT MAN!” I turned around, whipped out my I.D., and said, “Me too!” When she realized where I actually work, she nearly fainted.
Apparently, she didn't mean to shout at a state trooper!
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