A funeral can be many things. A sombre remembrance, a religious rite, a wake, a celebration of life. But however you've chosen to honor your lost loved one, there are certain things that remain faux pas. The people depicted in these stories below somehow managed to violate every single unwritten rule of respect for the dead.
These are the most inappropriate funeral stories from all around the world, as told by the mourners themselves. Yours with our sympathy.
40. A revival funeral
At my great aunt’s funeral in rural Missouri. Open casket. Small country church. The pastor says my great aunt’s dying wish was for one more person to embrace the teachings of Jesus Christ and to stand up RIGHT NOW and receive baptism in front of GAWWWD and his congregation.
Everybody’s head swivelled in my direction (except the corpse’s).
Nope. I’ll just stare up at the ceiling for a while guys, thanks.
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39. Great-granddad jokes
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38. The wrong man died
37. The funeral singer
Pixabay
36. A coffin built for two
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35. I'm the star of the funeral
34. I'll remember you now
I was 20 when that incident happened. It was not only inappropriate but even felt a little predatory.
Photo by Brandon Nickerson from Pexels
33. Not quite an Irish wake
At an open casket wake, a friend of the deceased attempted to give her a drink of single malt. She ended up being forcibly removed as she wouldn't stop and spilled a lot of the drink into the casket. It was as horrible and inappropriate as it was heartbreaking - for everyone.
Someone should have told her the morticians usually wire the deceased's jaws shut to keep the mouth from opening.
32. Funerals can have a lighter touch
31. I really hope she was talking about her eyes...
30. Nothing says 'class' like screaming about the will
This was in Missouri, which is an affirmative disinheriting state. The will according to brother #1 said she was actively excluded from the official will and entitled to no portion of the estate, named her ex husband a portion of the home sale (Brother #2 bought his father out and kept it), and the remaining estate to both of her sons.
29. Was your grandpa Kanye West?
28. Couple of Gollums
27. The play's the thing
26. The fun in funeral
25. Attention babies
24. So... who would like to join up?
23. Which funeral is this again?
22. The funeral crasher
Photo by Rhodi Lopez on Unsplash
21. This book will change your life
20. Help, I'm alive!
19. Say cheese!
18. Title fight at a funeral
After the funeral, Dee tried to steal the car willed to grandpa’s blind boo but my family thought ahead and a couple of my uncles waited around the house until Dee came for the car. They came outside and apparently she was scared off. Blind boo got the car in the end and wrecked it immediately. I can’t make this stuff up.
17. No one wants your playlist
16. Funeral field trip
My grandpa died while I was in junior high. I was in drama and he had helped build a lot of the sets for our plays, so I think my mom and teacher worked out that they'd tell the class when the viewing was of they wanted to go.
I'm not sure what happened next, but somehow word got around and something like half my grade showed up, not to the viewing, but to the funeral. There wasn't even enough seating, so you had like 50 teenagers just standing in the back of the chapel. It was the weirdest thing. Especially since most had never even met my grandfather, and I'm pretty sure many didn't even know who I was. Plus none of us could drive at that age, so somehow they all convinced enough of their parents to drive them to a funeral at a mortuary across town in the middle of a school day.
I'm convinced that half my 9th grade class used my grandfather's funeral as an excuse to get out of school for a day.
15. The mourner in chief
One of my cousin's girlfriends that everyone reeeeeeally disliked ruined multiple funerals. I honestly don't think my cousin even likes her that much, but that's a different issue all together.
Uncle died and she acted like her own father died to all my cousins' faces who were incredibly close with their father and in complete devastation mode.
Grandma died and she did the same, trying to insert herself as the caretaker of everyone. Like, listen lady, read the room. Let me and my mother comfort each other. We do not want your comfort right now, go bother someone else.
14. Sorry, I have to take this
13. This one is on the house
The priest repeatedly referred to my grandmother by the wrong name!!! After the 4th or 5th time my Aunt got up and and quietly told him the correct name. My grandmother had attended church weekly for decades. There was no reason for the priest to not know his parishioner. Needless to say, we did not pay his fee.
12. What's in a name?
At my brother's best friend's funeral, no one really wanted to get up and say anything about the deceased (not out of disrespect, we're all just awkward folks). So one guy stood up and started talking about how he was such a good guy, always did the right thing, except... he was calling the deceased by my brother's name. It was really uncomfortable.
After he was done, I leaned in to my brother and whispered, "I didn't know you had died."
Image by Erik Lucatero from Pixabay
11. Thy will be done
Photo by Francesco Corbisiero on Unsplash
10. First words, last rites
Image by Pamula REEVES-BARKER from Pixabay
9. Simply unbelievable
8. Engagement at a funeral
7. Daaaaaaaaaaarling
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6. Who hooks up at a funeral?!
5. Fire and brimstone
4. Always be grinding
3. The selling point is the track suits
Pixabay
2. Funerals aren't supposed to be political
1. Tales from an industry insider
Oh god. My time to shine. Former mortuary industry worker.
The worst is hard to call because I’ve seen a lot. Some honourable mentions:
-A rando walking on off the street and proceeding to help herself to coffee and ODing in our bathroom. Didn’t die. Did get narcan’d.
-A couple fooling around in the urn/casket showroom during the viewing.
-An angry old woman storming out of the bathroom with a fistful of sanitary napkins, screaming about how inappropriate we were for keeping them in there, because “THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!!” She threw them at the funeral director’s face. They were kept in a cabinet, in a small basket, well hidden from public view. She was definitely rifiling around to have found them. We were no longer allowed to keep our sanitary products in the restrooms after this.
-A grief-stricken mother tipping her son’s casket while wailing and trying to climb inside. Less inappropriate than it was terribly sad.
-Caught a junkie relative digging deep into the pockets of the deceased looking for, the family and is assumed, money.
-A woman pulling down her child’s pants and letting him crap in a potted plant.
-Tons of brawls. Lots of drinking. Biker funerals were INSANE. The women were meaner than the men and fighting one another constantly. The dudes were awesome though. Super respectful, cleaned the place up perfectly, and even hauled their trash away. Most of which was bags of cans and bottles. I loved biker funerals.
Photo by Victoria Kure-Wu on Unsplash
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