Which Condiments to Embrace and Which to Kiss Goodbye
The right condiment can take a plain ol’ dish to new, flavorful heights—but which ones deserve your attention? We’ve narrowed down a few to keep in your pantry and a handful you can probably ditch.
1. Marmite
We’re not really starting off hot here, especially with something so naturally polarizing. While some people swear by it, we’ve never understood the hype and could easily do away with this tarry condiment…if you can even call it that. For those who don’t know, it’s made from brewer’s yeast—or the stuff left after they make beer.
2. Horseradish
It’s easy to see why horseradish turns off so many people—it’s not only pungent, but it’s also a hodge-podge mix of other disagreeable condiments. Vinegar, sugar, and salt? Some people even toss mustard and sour cream in there. Either way, we’ll politely pass.
3. Relish
You’d think pickle lovers would jump at the chance to spread relish over their meals, but we’d rather bite into the real thing. Various recipes exist though most call for ingredients like onion, vinegar, sugar, and salt. At the end of the day, you’re just eating sweetened chopped-up pickles.
4. Ranch Dressing
We know some people can’t live without ranch, but we’ve had enough! Mayo and sour cream are bad enough (more on those later), but adding garlic and lemon juice doesn’t help anything. Try all you want to make it yourself, but the homemade stuff hardly fares better.
5. Tartar Sauce
Sweet pickle relish doesn’t do it for us. Yellow mustard is worse. Blending them with lemon juice, mayo, and parsley? All you really have is a creamy sauce sprinkled with dill that doesn’t make our haddock any better.
6. Mayo
You know, mayo can make or break a sandwich. A spoonful slapped between some bread isn’t the end of the world (and some dishes aren’t complete without it), but we could take it or leave it. Though it’s only vinegar, eggs, lemon juice, and mustard, it’s pretty bland as far as others go. Don’t even get us started on Miracle Whip.
7. Blue Cheese Dressing
When you don’t like blue cheese, you obviously won’t like its dressing. However, there’s something particularly gnarly about mixing it with vinegar, mayo, sour cream, and buttermilk. It’s almost all of the worst things contained in one bottle (maybe that’ll help it from spreading)!
8. Ketchup
It’s not that we “hate” ketchup—it’s more that we acknowledge its problems. Though some brands are off the hook, others merely taste like sugary tomatoes drowning in vinegar. Oh, did you forget to shake the bottle? Prepare yourself for the terrible, watery consistency too.
9. Sour Cream
Sour cream goes great with pierogies or tacos, but it’s hardly a groundbreaking condiment. All that heavy whipping cream and milk don’t exactly bring the flavor, and a splash of lemon juice isn’t enough to save it.
10. Yellow Mustard
Hot mustard, Dijon mustard, honey mustard. With so many delicious varieties out there, why limit yourself to the neon yellow one? Vinegar, garlic powder, and turmeric make it an acquired taste at best, and salt and paprika take it a step further.
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Don’t worry if those condiments left a bad taste in your mouth because now it’s time to dive into some of the best ones on the market!
1. BBQ Sauce
You can have it sweet, you can have it smoky—you can have it anytime you need a powerful punch of flavor! BBQ sauce is the ultimate condiment thanks to its versatility. Whether you add red wine vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, or a creative spice blend, you won’t be left wanting.
2. Salsa
Where would our nachos be without salsa? Burritos and tacos too. With all those fresh tomatoes, onions, herbs, and lime juice, it’s a flexible recipe that lets anyone get creative. Our personal favorite is salsa verde: a zesty blend of cilantro, jalapeño peppers, onions, and tomatillos.
3. Soy Sauce
You wouldn’t think a simple recipe of soybeans, salt, and water would be so polarizing, but some people steer clear of soy sauce. Not us. Low sodium options make it easier on the pallet and our seafood wouldn’t be the same without it.
4. Pesto
It’s flavorful. It’s affordable. It’s easy to make. Is there anything pesto can’t do? To bring this recipe to life, all you need is fresh basil, garlic, parmesan, olive oil, and pine nuts. Some jazz up their recipes with lemon juice or walnuts, but any combination is a winning one.
5. Hot Sauce
We’re not here to split hairs on which hot sauces deserve your time. We are, however, here to vouch for hot sauce as a whole! It provides the exact kick you’re looking for, it comes in all sorts of flavors, and you have total control over how spicy a dish actually gets. Some are sweeter, some are more savory, but almost all of them are wonderful.
6. Vinegar
Hang on, stay with us! We’re not saying you should down a bottle of vinegar, but this condiment appears in nearly every other one—so it’s hard to ignore the value. Between apple cider vinegar, red wine vinegar, and balsamic vinegar, your favorite dish has likely been kissed by this one in the past.
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7. Honey Mustard
Not everyone likes honey mustard but those people are wrong! While we’re not the biggest fans of yellow mustard on its own, mixing it with a little dijon, apple cider vinegar, and honey takes it to new heights. Sprinkle a pinch of paprika and garlic powder to tie it all together.
8. Worcestershire
We will not tolerate any Worcestershire slander—though we’ll struggle to pronounce it with you. Soy sauce, apple cider vinegar, brown sugar, and mustard act as the base while garlic, cinnamon, and a splash of lemon juice finish it off. It might sound weird, but this tangy favorite is a big crowd-pleaser.
9. Gochujang
If you love spicy condiments and chicken wings, gochujang is the option for you. Traditional recipes call for rice syrup and fermented soybean powder, but you can also use soy sauce, vinegar, and even mayo. Whichever route you choose, those ribs will never be the same again.
10. Chimichurri
That salmon steak looks awful lonely. Looks like it’s time for chimichurri, the simple condiment bursting with flavor. Parsley, olive oil, and vinegar make the base while fresh herbs and a pinch of sea salt tie it all together. Add a spoonful to your chicken or seafood and you’ll never go back!
